Post by Chips on Sept 20, 2012 17:24:46 GMT 9.5
Obama's on to a winner - get the better half to fix it
Date September 19, 2012
HECKLER
A COUPLE of weeks back, those of us here in the 51st state were struck silent by the spectacular performance of Michelle Obama at the Democrats' love-fest.
I watched the news spots, read the reviews of her oratory, and was awed at the devotion and support for her man.
Accordingly, I'm going to take my wife with me to my next job interview. At first, the idea seems a bit silly, but if it's OK for Barack Obama to do it, then why not me?
I'll get her to wear a pretty dress and some heels, a bit of bling (but no cleavage), and her widest smile.
The day before, as I update my CV and do some research on my prospective new employer, I will happily send her to the salon for a massage, manicure and a cut'n'colour. I'll be wearing my interview/wedding/funeral suit, so we'll look great on the train as we travel, my CV in my hand and sporting our best PR happy faces.
When we get there, Sharon can do all the talking.
She's chatty and personable; always makes a great first impression (just like Michelle). She'll talk about my skills with Excel, and mention my high distinction in business communication (certificate IV). She will talk about how I always clean up after myself, and never leave the seat up.
She'll make it clear that I never let her put the bins out, and how I get cross if she does it herself while I'm out walking the dog.
I'll sit quietly, of course; it's not my place to do the talking, as my career runs are already on the board. I'll be beaming with pride at the way my lovely wife is willing to put forward her belief in me to strangers, and I'm sure this will come across loud and clear in the interview.
Sharon puts herself on the line for me, and talks me up at every opportunity, and that's the best reason to hire me. She'll make that point, with or without an autocue.
Every question posed to her (about me) she will answer perfectly, and the answer will be to my complete credit. I will have spent hours coaching her, of course, and making sure that none of the ''less impressive incidents'' from my career find their way into this forum.
At the conclusion of the interview, I'll shake the hand of the nice HR lady, and Sharon will give her a hug, sharing a small moment of sisterhood.
Then we'll leave together, holding hands, and make our way past all the other candidates, none of whom have a spouse as devoted and perfect as mine (or Barack's).
So, do I get the job?
Steve Whitby