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Post by gypho on Sept 24, 2008 22:52:49 GMT 9.5
Pray for her... she sounds like she has issues that you know nothing about and that she's not ready to reveal just yet.
Then again... there are people who are just "like that".
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Post by clifftimmons on Sept 24, 2008 23:00:07 GMT 9.5
That is insane! I am not adopted or whatever so I can't say too much about step brothers or sisters.
I am a Step-Dad though. I can’t imagine treating a child any different because of their DNA. I can’t imagine feeling any closer to them if they were “my own.”
To me, that is just sick.
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Post by gypho on Sept 24, 2008 23:04:14 GMT 9.5
Welcome to my world, Cliff.
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Post by wvpeach1963 on Sept 24, 2008 23:07:00 GMT 9.5
Oh I do Kim . And she is really a good girl. But one who has not lived much of a life.
Till in her 30's she never did a thing. Living with my parents and occasionally taking a college class here and there. Many of which she dropped out from. She says her sinus infections stop her from being able to get up early for a job. Or from keeping a job. She walked around for years carrying gallon baggies of snot rags with a little blood on them to show to everybody that would look that her sinus's were really that bad.
My sister missed a lot of life. I think for a combination of reasons. She does get bad sinus problems , but then again sinus is something we all get. My parents made it cushy and just fine for her to become a hermit. During all those hermit years of hers. The kids and I lived about 3 hours from my parents and her. The kids went often to my parents , staying a couple weeks at a time during summer vacations. My sister loves my kids. Since they have become adults two of them have had long term arguments with her where they have told her she should stop talking bad about me they are tired of it. I asked them to not tell me what she said. I don't want to know.
I love my sister. But its not my fault she elected to stay home for so many years and decided to finish her education and start her live in her late 30's.
I think she regrets it and during that time I was off living a busy life and raising three kids.
I understand her and I understand where that sort of jealous feeling comes in for her sometimes.
keep trying to remind her that now she has a job I would love. She is a archival librarian for a major university. I would love that and am jealous.
perhaps I forgot to praise her for all those years she was at home. But I didn't forget to talk to her. I was always a willing ear to listen to her.
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Post by clifftimmons on Sept 24, 2008 23:08:20 GMT 9.5
Welcome to my world, Cliff. Good song. Welcome to my world Won't you come on in Miracles I guess Still happen now and then Step into my heart Leave your cares behind Welcome to my world Built with you in mind Knock and the door will open Seek and you will find Ask and you'll be given The key to this world of mine I'll be waiting here With my arms unfurled Waiting just for you Welcome to my world Knock and the door will open Seek and you will find Ask and you'll be given The key to this world of mine I'll be waiting here With my arms unfurled Waiting just for you Welcome to my world Waiting just for you Welcome to my world
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Post by clifftimmons on Sept 24, 2008 23:10:58 GMT 9.5
Oh I do Kim . And she is really a good girl. But one who has not lived much of a life. Till in her 30's she never did a thing. Living with my parents and occasionally taking a college class here and there. Many of which she dropped out from. She says her sinus infections stop her from being able to get up early for a job. Or from keeping a job. She walked around for years carrying gallon baggies of snot rags with a little blood on them to show to everybody that would look that her sinus's were really that bad. My sister missed a lot of life. I think for a combination of reasons. She does get bad sinus problems , but then again sinus is something we all get. My parents made it cushy and just fine for her to become a hermit. During all those hermit years of hers. The kids and I lived about 3 hours from my parents and her. The kids went often to my parents , staying a couple weeks at a time during summer vacations. My sister loves my kids. Since they have become adults two of them have had long term arguments with her where they have told her she should stop talking bad about me they are tired of it. I asked them to not tell me what she said. I don't want to know. I love my sister. But its not my fault she elected to stay home for so many years and decided to finish her education and start her live in her late 30's. I think she regrets it and during that time I was off living a busy life and raising three kids. I understand her and I understand where that sort of jealous feeling comes in for her sometimes. keep trying to remind her that now she has a job I would love. She is a archival librarian for a major university. I would love that and am jealous. perhaps I forgot to praise her for all those years she was at home. But I didn't forget to talk to her. I was always a willing ear to listen to her. Don't beat yourself up peach. You were both kids and anything you may have done or may not have done was just part of growing up. At some point, as you well know, you have to decide things for yourself. You've done that. She, for whatever reason, has not.
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Post by gypho on Sept 24, 2008 23:12:54 GMT 9.5
I spoke with my mom this morning already. She and I spoke of the emotions that we're experiencing right now --- all over again --- and the changes that have taken place over the last three years. She cries for the lost time, gives thanks for now. She cries with me, and laughs with me, and knows my secrets - all of them - I hid nothing from her. She mourns my losses as if they were her own, she feels my pain as her own; but then, I am her firstborn. She knows all that I went through three years ago in my struggle to find her. She knows about the prayers I sent up in my searching, and in my finding. She knows about my adoptive family, and the way I was always "different". She knows how I feel about her "giving me up", she knows about my support, she knows about the way Keith didn't support me, she knows about the reaction my adoptive mother had when I told her I'd found "my birth mother". Mom knows everything - I did not hide anything. Not one thing... and she loves me as much - or more than - she ever did, if that's possible. I miss my mom.
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Post by gypho on Sept 24, 2008 23:14:02 GMT 9.5
Welcome to my world, Cliff. Good song. Welcome to my world Won't you come on in Miracles I guess Still happen now and then Step into my heart Leave your cares behind Welcome to my world Built with you in mind Knock and the door will open Seek and you will find Ask and you'll be given The key to this world of mine I'll be waiting here With my arms unfurled Waiting just for you Welcome to my world Knock and the door will open Seek and you will find Ask and you'll be given The key to this world of mine I'll be waiting here With my arms unfurled Waiting just for you Welcome to my world Waiting just for you Welcome to my world Thanks, Cliff. I like that one.
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Post by gypho on Sept 24, 2008 23:18:20 GMT 9.5
Cliff makes good points, peach.
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Post by wvpeach1963 on Sept 25, 2008 6:36:25 GMT 9.5
THanks cliff , and I don't beat myself up. I love my little sister. She is 12 years younger than me so I mothered her myself. She is pretty spoiled. My mother who can barely walk because of arthritis waited on sis hand and foot. But sis says the excercise is good for mom. I love my sis. I know she loves me. WE have just led much different lives. Mine busy with kids and work. And I suspect my sis would like to take part of mine and part of hers and design her own custom life. I realize that. I still love her. Oh I do Kim . And she is really a good girl. But one who has not lived much of a life. Till in her 30's she never did a thing. Living with my parents and occasionally taking a college class here and there. Many of which she dropped out from. She says her sinus infections stop her from being able to get up early for a job. Or from keeping a job. She walked around for years carrying gallon baggies of snot rags with a little blood on them to show to everybody that would look that her sinus's were really that bad. My sister missed a lot of life. I think for a combination of reasons. She does get bad sinus problems , but then again sinus is something we all get. My parents made it cushy and just fine for her to become a hermit. During all those hermit years of hers. The kids and I lived about 3 hours from my parents and her. The kids went often to my parents , staying a couple weeks at a time during summer vacations. My sister loves my kids. Since they have become adults two of them have had long term arguments with her where they have told her she should stop talking bad about me they are tired of it. I asked them to not tell me what she said. I don't want to know. I love my sister. But its not my fault she elected to stay home for so many years and decided to finish her education and start her live in her late 30's. I think she regrets it and during that time I was off living a busy life and raising three kids. I understand her and I understand where that sort of jealous feeling comes in for her sometimes. keep trying to remind her that now she has a job I would love. She is a archival librarian for a major university. I would love that and am jealous. perhaps I forgot to praise her for all those years she was at home. But I didn't forget to talk to her. I was always a willing ear to listen to her. Don't beat yourself up peach. You were both kids and anything you may have done or may not have done was just part of growing up. At some point, as you well know, you have to decide things for yourself. You've done that. She, for whatever reason, has not.
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Post by wvpeach1963 on Sept 25, 2008 6:38:00 GMT 9.5
THat is neat KIM . And its sounds like your biological mom is a mature , sensible person. A lot of time people who give up children react badly to hearing the children went through emotional pain because of the adoption. They can't handle the fact they were in anyway responsible for that pain and they turn away in self preservation . It sounds like your mom is a rare lady. Special and able to understand others feelings. I am so glad to hear you are getting to know each other and spend time loving each other. I spoke with my mom this morning already. She and I spoke of the emotions that we're experiencing right now --- all over again --- and the changes that have taken place over the last three years. She cries for the lost time, gives thanks for now. She cries with me, and laughs with me, and knows my secrets - all of them - I hid nothing from her. She mourns my losses as if they were her own, she feels my pain as her own; but then, I am her firstborn. She knows all that I went through three years ago in my struggle to find her. She knows about the prayers I sent up in my searching, and in my finding. She knows about my adoptive family, and the way I was always "different". She knows how I feel about her "giving me up", she knows about my support, she knows about the way Keith didn't support me, she knows about the reaction my adoptive mother had when I told her I'd found "my birth mother". Mom knows everything - I did not hide anything. Not one thing... and she loves me as much - or more than - she ever did, if that's possible. I miss my mom.
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Post by gypho on Sept 25, 2008 8:11:36 GMT 9.5
As I said... I just want more time with those I love. *sigh*
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Post by gypho on Sept 27, 2008 3:15:21 GMT 9.5
Man... today's a tuffy.
I'll make it... I ain't the "btg" fer nuthin'. LOL
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Post by Chips on Sept 27, 2008 22:13:00 GMT 9.5
One of my favourite songs... and artists.
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Post by gypho on Sept 28, 2008 1:04:55 GMT 9.5
Yes... that definitely fits... thank you, Chips...
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