Post by Chips on May 8, 2008 11:54:41 GMT 9.5
Whatever you do, don't babe me
Keira Daley
May 8, 2008
HECKLER
I WINCE at work when I receive emails that begin with "Hey, babe" and end with "Thanks, love".
For one, I'm not a babe. In fact (arguably), I am an adult. If I am a "babe" in a more figurative sense, I am certainly not your babe. Few things are more condescending than calling someone you hardly know "babe".
Recently, an acquaintance corrected something one of my friends said, adding "babe" to the end of her subtle put-down - as if to sugar-coat it. My friend was unfazed, but my blood boiled. I'd reached my condescension threshold.
Who do these "babe"-spouting yuppies think they are? These scenesters who have made such patronising, insincere behaviour into a non-stick art form? In almost any setting, you'll find at least one representative of the Land of Too Cool spilling pretentious terms around like tic tacs: "darl", "hon", the insipid "sweetie", the mystifying "gorge", and the utterly unsubstantiated "my love".
Don't they feel a bit weird calling near-strangers these things? Can't they hear themselves sounding like an Ab Fab caricature?
And what do they do when they have genuine cause to call someone "my love"? What happens to the droves who believe they have a claim to that title? Do they get on the phone (to the work acquaintances, the baristas, the guy who tried to sell them something from a call centre in Bangalore) and say "You know how you were once 'my love'? Well…"
Terms of endearment should only be used in cases of genuine endearment. None of this "Oh, I'm friends with everyone" nonsense. And permission to use or invent nicknames must be earned. They're the most reverent form of, er, irreverence.
Outside these scenarios, if you're my acquaintance, I have a name - so why not give that a go?
You may think you're cool calling random people "babe" and "darl" and "love", but you're not. You're lame and even a bit rude. I question whether you even know my name, or if you can read or speak properly.
Don't use nicknames or terms of endearment to assert your status in a happy-go-lucky, I'm-one-of-you-groundlings kind of way because I, for one, am not buying it. I'm certainly not going the extra mile for somebody who's patronising me, no matter how friendly they're trying to seem.
You seriously need to get your knickers untwisted Keira.
Keira Daley
May 8, 2008
HECKLER
I WINCE at work when I receive emails that begin with "Hey, babe" and end with "Thanks, love".
For one, I'm not a babe. In fact (arguably), I am an adult. If I am a "babe" in a more figurative sense, I am certainly not your babe. Few things are more condescending than calling someone you hardly know "babe".
Recently, an acquaintance corrected something one of my friends said, adding "babe" to the end of her subtle put-down - as if to sugar-coat it. My friend was unfazed, but my blood boiled. I'd reached my condescension threshold.
Who do these "babe"-spouting yuppies think they are? These scenesters who have made such patronising, insincere behaviour into a non-stick art form? In almost any setting, you'll find at least one representative of the Land of Too Cool spilling pretentious terms around like tic tacs: "darl", "hon", the insipid "sweetie", the mystifying "gorge", and the utterly unsubstantiated "my love".
Don't they feel a bit weird calling near-strangers these things? Can't they hear themselves sounding like an Ab Fab caricature?
And what do they do when they have genuine cause to call someone "my love"? What happens to the droves who believe they have a claim to that title? Do they get on the phone (to the work acquaintances, the baristas, the guy who tried to sell them something from a call centre in Bangalore) and say "You know how you were once 'my love'? Well…"
Terms of endearment should only be used in cases of genuine endearment. None of this "Oh, I'm friends with everyone" nonsense. And permission to use or invent nicknames must be earned. They're the most reverent form of, er, irreverence.
Outside these scenarios, if you're my acquaintance, I have a name - so why not give that a go?
You may think you're cool calling random people "babe" and "darl" and "love", but you're not. You're lame and even a bit rude. I question whether you even know my name, or if you can read or speak properly.
Don't use nicknames or terms of endearment to assert your status in a happy-go-lucky, I'm-one-of-you-groundlings kind of way because I, for one, am not buying it. I'm certainly not going the extra mile for somebody who's patronising me, no matter how friendly they're trying to seem.
You seriously need to get your knickers untwisted Keira.