Post by Freddie Venus on May 8, 2018 11:50:16 GMT 9.5
18 Science Questions Asked By Stupid People
18. How is mercury a liquid at room temperature, yet a large solid when orbiting close to the Sun?
A. Mercury is made of mercury, whilst Mercury is made of rock, aluminium and iron.
17. How do bipolar people manage to be at both sides of the Earth at once?
A. By splitting in two, up the middle, then taking a long hop, one part to the north, and one part to the south §.
16. If guns don't kill people, people kill people, does that mean that toasters don't toast toast, toast toasts toast?
A. People toast toast.
15. Can fish get high off seaweed?
A. Fish, (under their own power), can get no higher than a few feet above the surface of the water, (there are flying fish).
Fish in aircraft can go very high.
14. If Catholics only have mass on Sundays, do they cease to exist the rest of the week?
A. Probably no, but it's debatable.
13. Is first degree murder in Fahrenheit or Celsius?
A. Neither, it's in Kelvin.
12. Why do meteors always land in craters?
A. Because meteors roll down the sides of the craters, to the bottom.
11. If ice floats, why is Antarctica at the bottom of the Earth?
A. There is no bottom to the earth - its just a convention to put the south at the bottom of our maps.
10. Would ants hallucinate if they took antacid?
A. No, ants have ant acid to begin with - formic acid.
9. Could another cold war stop global warming?
A. Yes, if a nuclear war ensued and wiped out humanity.
8. If I have water in my ear, is it safe to listen to electronic music?
A. It is a mistake to call it electronic music, the correct term is "noise". Noise will not cause permanent ear damage, unless over about 80 dB.
7. If 200,000 people die every year from drowning and 200,000 people have already drowned this year, does that mean I can breathe underwater?
A. No, the figure 200,000 must be a statistical value - probably an average. The actual number would vary, being around 200,000 per year, some years more and some less. (P.S. citation for 200,000 needed).
6. How did the thesaurus survive the dinosaur extinction?
A. The thesaurus is man made, and cloned well after the dinosaurs went extinct. They made a movie about it called "Jurassic Park".
5. If I overcook all my food, will I lose weight since I already burnt the calories?
A. It depends on how much food you eat. Even over-cooked food contains some calories. If you eat a ton of over-cooked food you will still get fat, (if you don't die).
4. Why didn't anyone take anti-depressants to prevent the great depression?
A. They did, but the drugs were not as effective then, as modern ones.
3. Coconuts have hair and produce milk. Why aren't they classed a mammals?
A. No titties.
2. Do strippers in the southern hemisphere spin around their poles in the opposite direction as strippers in the northern hemisphere?
A. It is a fallacy that water spins in a particular direction, (as going down a plug hole), in the northern or southern hemisphere. Likewise, strippers can spin either way, in both hemispheres.
§ Bipolar strippers can spin both ways at once
1. If shoelaces always untie and headphones always tangle, why don't we use headphones for shoelaces and shoelaces for headphone wire?
A. Shoe laces don't conduct electrical signals, so you won't hear anything if you use them for headphones. You can use headphone wire as shoe laces; so why don't you do it ? ? ?
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