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Dec 16, 2009, 9:43pm

A Global Village :: Members Lounge :: Murky Waters & Clear Skies :: (2) Darwin Awards go to....

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Topic: (2) Darwin Awards go to.... (Read 26 times)

browneyedgirl
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Happiness comes through doors you didn't even know you left open.

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(2) Darwin Awards go to....
« Thread Started on Oct 20, 2009, 7:49pm »

A police officer in Ohio responded to a 911 call. She had no details before arriving, except that someone had reported that his father was not breathing. Upon arrival, the officer found the man face down on the couch naked. When she rolled him over to check for a pulse and to start CPR, she noticed burn marks around his genitals. After the ambulance arrived and removed the man - who was declared dead on arrival at the hospital - police made a closer inspection of the couch, and noticed that the man had made a hole between the cushions.

Upon flipping the couch over, they discovered what had caused his death. Apparently, the man had a habit of putting his penis between the cushions, down into the hole and between two electrical sanders (with the sandpaper removed, for obvious reasons). According to the story, after his orgasm the discharge shorted out one of the sanders, electrocuting him.

***************************************
Based on a bet by the other members of his threesome, Everitt
Sanchez tried to wash his own "balls" in a ball washer at the local golf course. Proving once again that beer and testosterone are a bad mix, Sanchez managed to straddle the ball washer and dangle his scrotum in the machine. Much to his dismay, one of his buddies upped the ante by spinning the crank on the machine with Sanchez's scrotum in place, thus wedging them solidly in the mechanism.

Sanchez, who immediately passed his threshold of pain, collapsed and tumbled from his perch. Unfortunately for Sanchez, the height of the ball washer was more than a foot higher off the ground than his testicles are in a normal stance, and the scrotum was the weakest link. Sanchez's scrotum was ripped open during the fall, and one testicle was plucked from him forever and remained in the ball washer, while the other testicle was compressed and flattened as it was pulled between the housing of the washer, and the rotating machinery inside. To add insult to injury, Sanchez broke a new $300.00 driver that he had just purchased from the pro shop, and was using to balance himself. Sanchez was rushed to the hospital for surgery, and the remaining threesome was asked to leave the course.

NB: This last one wouldn't normally count, because the idiot didn't die. But, because he cannot reproduce as a result of his qualifying act of stupidity, we have allowed it.

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Chips
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Dear Cats - A truce for Christmas.

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Re: (2) Darwin Awards go to....
« Reply #1 on Oct 21, 2009, 3:47pm »

If women were more cooperative this wouldn't happen

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browneyedgirl
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Happiness comes through doors you didn't even know you left open.

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Re: (2) Darwin Awards go to....
« Reply #2 on Oct 21, 2009, 4:15pm »

Personally, I think you guys (it starts when you are all little boys) are somewhat destructive in nature...boys like blowing up things, playing rough with other boys on the playground, etc.

(i.e. boxing, football, soccer, rugby, etc...) Are these sports not rough and tough? Sorry, Chips, I do not buy your answer. ::)